Monday, April 25, 2011

In Love


I know that word counts are boring, but let me just say that I’ve never worked so hard to put 12,000 words onto paper. I thought I’d run out of things to say with the end of The Accidental Godmother, but I had an idea for another story. I started, but I kept feeling like I was done, the muse had taken her pound of flesh and my query bait would just have to do. But I kept fighting for it, kept writing (I’ve met glaciers that type faster than me lately). I feel like I fought for each word, but now I’ve got some momentum. No, I’ve got something better:
I’m in love.
I love my new WIP. No I’m not done, but I dreamt about it last night. That’s always a sure sign.
I guess 12K isn’t exactly champagne worthy, but now I’ve got a taste for it—cherry pie with chocolate ice cream—and I like it. If you want to read about it, I’m posting a rough draft of the query letter for this one under my current projects.  Go take a look and get a laugh.
And the funny thing is that the idea behind this WIP actually came from a fake query letter that I wrote to extol the virtues of holding one’s tongue. As it turns out, people get their ideas from all kinds of crazy places, and this one literally sprang out of a joke.
At the time, I was bemoaning the lack of truth in advertising when it comes to query letter writing (there are certainly aspects of that statement I still agree with), but I was afraid to use my actual query letter as a demonstration, so I made one up. And then after making one up, I figured out how I could really make it into a fun novel. So here is the novel spawning joke.

Warning: what you are about to read is a snarky joke. Truly. I don’t really think agents go around crushing the dreams of aspiring writers. In fact, every agent blog I’ve been to has been filled with some really nice, compassionate people who have great advice. Having said that, what writer hasn’t felt like this?

No Truth in Advertising:

Dear Mr. Agent,
In my paranormal romance novel, THE BETTER HALF, the heroine discovers that she's in love with a half dragon. When he is kidnapped by a ring of dragon slavers, she has to fight her way to the bottom of an ancient mystery, topple a corrupt government, and to make matters worse, she's flunking algebra. Please let me know if I can send you part or all of THE BETTER HALF. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Desperate to be Published

The real letter
"In my paranormal romance novel, THE BETTER HALF, the heroine discovers that she's in love with a half dragon."
What writers want to say:
"My Novel, is really awesome. No one has done half dragons yet. Vampires are way out, and this one will make money like Twilight."
The truth:
"In my novel, the heroine gets her freak on with this buffed out dude who comes to her rescue before ravishing her in a fountain of awesome sauce. Seriously, I need a cigarette just thinking about it."

In the real letter:
"I look forward to hearing from you."
What the writer wants to say:
"Please, please, please, please say you want to read my book, then represent it."
The Truth:
"I look forward to having you crush my dreams."

Weren’t those the good ole’ days, you know, in January. How can that feel so far away? Well back to work, and good luck everyone.

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