Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Insecure Writer Support Group: Support, support all around…


Ah, somehow, we’ve hit the first Wednesday of the month. How? How—I ask—could the world have possibly managed to spin all the way to August? Still, here we are, and it’s time to send some love to the Ninja Captain, Alex, and this month’s cohosts: Sarah Foster, Joylene Nowell Butler, Lily Eva, and Rhonda Albom!

This month I’d like to talk about something that doesn’t always occur to people.

It really isn’t you, it’s me.

I know, that’s so clichĂ©, but it turns out, it’s true.

On this journey as a writer, I have been met with some incredible support.* My family. My friends. My fellow writers. And through it all, I was the one who doubted. I was the one who poked holes in my projects, told myself my writing wasn’t good (to be fair, it hadn’t evolved yet). But it was me. I tore myself down and refused to listen to the people around me. I refused to believe my family and friends and even my fellow writers. I even refused to believe strangers when they said nice things about my writing. Even when it was anonymous.

Then something changed. I heard them.

What they were saying hadn’t changed.

It was me. I changed.

One day, all the support in the world didn’t help. The next, it did. It was like the channel was scrambled.

I know it’s a little corny, but take a moment today and listen to the actual support around you. I know that my inner voice wouldn’t make a very nice friend, so I encourage everyone to take a moment to let that voice in your head be quiet and listen to others. Allow your loved ones to give you the support they have been offering to you.

That’s all.

Simple right?

Well, talk to me again tomorrow. I’m sure the little voice just took a vacation.



*to be clear, I’ve been met with some amazing a$$hattery as well, but my big problem has always been disregarding all the nice things and only ever hearing the negative ones. I bet I’m not alone in that regard.

11 comments:

  1. It's sometimes easy to think that the people around you don't really know, because they aren't, well, you.

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  2. Awesome. That's definitely a moment you've turned the corner. Way to break through the clouds and see the sun! At least once you've seen the sun, you know it's there, even when the cloud cover is too overwhelming. =)

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  3. Great post! It's really a "wow" moment when you realize there's positives about your writing and that, yes, you are going to make it as a writer one day! Hang in there!

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  4. The voice will always come back. We just get better and better at ignoring it. Congratulations!

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  5. That is really cool. ^_^ I think I've had the opposite problem - I had great support, just like you did, so much that I let it get to me and I thought everything I did was awesome and would sell millions. It wasn't until I started getting actual critique and not just support that I started to get better.

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  6. We are always going to be our own worst critics, because we never temper the negative comments with positive, like we would to practically everyone else!

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  7. Also, it's almost always easier to remember the asshattery than it is the nice things, which is weird and sucky, but there you have it!

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  8. No, that makes sense to me. We sabotage ourselves. Glad you finally threw the switch!

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  9. Definitely not alone there! I totally know what you mean. :) And yes, it does one good to take a moment now and then to really listen to the positives. :)

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  10. This is SO TRUE. My husband has told me over and over that the only one standing in the way of my success as a writer is ME.

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