Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Great things get in my way: Insecure about getting it done

There's this thing that gets in my way sometimes.

When people are inspired by something, they often move to produce work to honor it, or mimic it, or anything, but they are inspired to produce.

When I see something that touches my soul, it washes me out in a sea of ennui. For days afterwards, I'm in a funk because I want to make something that touches people the way I've been touched. I want to give people an experience, but right after I've had one, I'm paralyzed by the enormity of what I'm trying to do. It feels like, in those moments, that I'll never manage to do something as beautiful/meaningful/inspiring/hopeful/touching.

I admit this is the leftover dregs of that inner voice. It's there in the background saying nasty things like "See that, you'll never make anything that good." I hate that it exists, and I really hate that I can't exterminate it. I see this as one of my greatest personal failings. People talk about how they are able to destroy this voice inside them, that they can shut it up. Mine has a loudspeaker and access to the house speakers.

So what about you? Does your nasty voice compare you to what's going on around you? Does it get in the way of your ability to create?

Remember to hop around and go visit the Ninja Captain and  his cohosts Murees Dupe, Alexia Chamberlynn, Chemist Ken, and Heather Gardner!

18 comments:

  1. I know all about that nasty voice. It does impair my creativity at times. I'm trying to co-exist with that nasty little voice right now. It is hard, but it can be done. Always remember to create something that pleases you first. Good-luck.

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    1. Thank you. I try to always work on things that make me smile, after all, we spend more time with our works than anyone else...

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  2. I don't really listen to that nasty voice much. I know I'll never be a great writer, but if I write well enough to amuse a certain niche of readers, that's all I need.

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    1. Sometimes I wish that I didn't have that voice, and I think it's fueled by the internet and social media. Stupid voice.

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  3. I think women suffer in this vein more than men. We just have to fill our lives with positive thinking. Rather than validating that voice, we have to look at the amazing things we've accomplished. It's the only way forward.

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    1. I like this. I'm trying to be more positive because, yes, it's important. I think forward is the only way through.

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  4. Yes, I do have this voice, but then I stop and dissect the work that inspired me so I can think about how I might improve my work. But you're right, I don't want to simply copy.

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    1. I like dissecting what it is that made me fall in love with something. I feel like that really helps me write what it is that I love more than anything.

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  5. Me, I've dumbed it down. I don't strive for immortality or my name in lights. All my goals are close enough I might get them. There's comfort in that.

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    1. See, this is my real problem. If I could set my goals where they are likely to come to fruition, I could really get somewhere, but I spend so much of my time being jealous of other people's success that I slow myself down. There is definitely some wisdom in setting goals within reach!

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  6. Give it a name, make it a villain and kill it. Do this over and over. Forever.

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    1. I love this. I have the perfect name....

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  7. I feel that sometimes when I read someone who can really write circles around me. Then I pull up my socks and get back to doing the best I can. Or I eat chocolate.
    Rebecca
    My IWSG Post

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    1. Both are totally viable options, so that makes perfect sense to me.

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  8. Not much to do except keep trying in spite of that mean voice.

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    1. Yeah, sigh, the only way out of this place is through it.

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  9. I know some of what you mean, though my voice says something different - instead of "you'll never make anything that good", my voice is really big on "it doesn't matter what you make, no one will ever read it". And I'm still trying to figure out how to get it to shut up. >_<

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    1. Ugh, your voice and my voice have so much in common. Tell it take a hike. (also, big hint, it never shuts up, just turn your music up louder...)

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